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Today, I'm gonna write something about a mystery, It is just happening right now. First of all, I confess that at some point I'm wrong at what I'm doing, I really want to change my mind, but something deep is not allowing me to change myself.
I'm a man in full bloom, but not married yet. I've spent the best years of my life in recent fours years, I went through many calamities and hardships in which my soul is nourished. I was just searching for light in people full of darkness. These incidents of my life took all of my trust outta my heart and made me a person who couldn't trust anyone. I always tried to adopt new environments so I must not break at any stage again.
But now here comes the current story, I work in a small firm and a lady is always around me here, she is an amazing person. Very friendly with a beautiful heart, physically attractive and quite charming. She is married and now mother of a kid. Some months ago I was having some beeps in my heart from her, and I ignored it many times. I got to know that she is interested in knowing my story and may be she wants me to be with someone else for her. I kept receiving alarms in my heart and I started focusing on her, I also saw that she had a past, she was broken, deceived and used. I saw the beauty in her heart, She was still unaware of it. My attentions towards her are making things more open to me now, I see that she is stumbled with the materiality of this world and this really breaks me though. Her days and nights are full of desire and quite explicit. I started thinking about her and now I'm making a place for her in my heart, she gradually becoming a major part of my beautiful and finest thoughts. I really want to take her to the stars and make her feel loved so she would forget every single sorrow of her life. I'm being attracted to her, I'm really feeling upset. I don't know where to go? I most of the time change my energy to the positive side, I spend time with kids, I keep myself busy I like spending time behind some fence but something deep is eating me.
If I tell her about this, it sounds a horrific idea. I sometimes think that I must tell her so she would help me to change my mind but what if she did not understand my situation? Things can go too wrong.
I repeat that I know I must not focus on her because if my feelings for her will go stronger then it will be problematic. She has a beautiful life, she must be happy in any case. I only fear that if something on her side will have been affected by me, it will be a total mess.
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